When I was growing up I didn’t have too many people I could voice to. Nor did I really have the confidence either. In a nutshell I tried finding myself through other unhealthy outlets, but I knew I was cheating myself. I never gave myself the chance to finding myself through my voice. We all know what magic is, right? A lot of times we view it as this mystical force that adds a certain type of power, beauty, or resilience to something. Well, I’ve made the decision that my words are magic.
My thoughts and words give me a sense of strength like none other because they give me freedom, freedom to be comfortable with myself, internally and externally. Something I denied myself up until this point, because I was scared. Scared of criticism, scared of judgment, scared of truly just being myself. I had to come to a point where I had to understand I’m not living for anyone else, I’m living for Sitoria. We all ultimately chase this thought and idea of freedom, but never know how to reach it most of the time. One of the steps I had to take was to truly understand and love myself. Once I did that, I fell in love with my thoughts, I fell in love with my ideas, what I wanted to say, how I looked, how I dressed, etc.
A friend of mines, Rico Smith, said something so important to me one day. He said, “It’s 90% of self-development and 10% know how.” He was talking about wholesale real estate in that moment, but this is so true to apply in life in general! That really resonated with me because at one point I started writing and formulating ideas for this blog, but I had to stop. I felt I wasn’t being honest in my writing, I was thinking too much about how other people would perceive it instead of writing with passion and purpose. I had to be honest with myself in that moment and pause on this whole idea. I knew I had some things internally that I had to still work on before I could fully immerse myself into what I was trying to achieve. I had to do some serious reflecting.
Remember as a kid you were just overcome with joy and love and felt like you could do whatever you wanted. For the most part we did, and paid for it later. Now when we see young children living in that same truth, we see something we aspire for again as adults. They’re free, running wild, not afraid to say the first thing on their mind. They’re not afraid to explore the world, they’re not afraid to play, ask question, be curious. Don’t’ get me wrong, we all know children do get scared and fearful of things such as punishment or when they get hurt. But after that nothing else matters because they don’t dwell in the past and they continue to live in the moment and be present.
Why can’t we still live like this as adults? We tend to take on the victim role. Something might have happened to us and we place all the blame and energy into that very reason that caused us to not live a life of freedom. It’s very important we are conscious of that because at the end of the day you have to step into your “warrior” mindset and take charge of what you do to learn from it, move on, grow from it and still be present and alive in the moment creating a new and healthy mindset. You have to be your own freedom.
I have chosen to love myself. The way I continuously show myself love is giving myself freedom. The freedom of love, the freedom of voice, the freedom of being curious, and the freedom to be present. Now, do I struggle with this sometimes? Absolutely. We all make mistakes and lifelong habits can be very hard to break. Don’t wallow in that, though, instead I just check myself and I recognize that it’s still a journey. A journey that I want to share with you all. A journey of freedom. And a journey of still discovering and falling in love with what I have to say.
In the words of the late, great Muhammad Ali, “The man who views the world at 50 the same way he did at 20, has wasted 30 years of his life.”